Gearing Up For Senior

The quiet stillness of the warm air around me invites me to contemplate the mysteries of my Savior.

Wow. It's been a crazy past week! From responsibility to summer fun to exhaustion, I haven't had much time to sit down and write. And that's okay; sometimes I need to learn that writing isn't my fulfillment; it's just a simple way to glorify my God.

Long car rides test patience. I woke up at three this morning, and our family left at four. We arrived at four-thirty, and we were tired! But it is so beautiful here, and I am thankful for the time I have away before I start my senior year of high school.

In just a week, I'll begin my last year of free schooling... after that, I'll need to start paying for my tuition! That'll be a trial of faith in God's provision all in itself! But I look back, and I'm astounded that I'm already here; senior year. It's crazy to me.

I see a joyful, carefree youth. I see a depressed middle schooler. I see an optimistic, yet fearful underclassman. And now I'm the top dog; I have a wonderful opportunity to finally be the role model that I had looked up to when I was younger.

I pray that God makes me into a young man that is always ready to help others. One that notices those in need, and offers assistance. One that holds the door even though chivalry is dying, because it isn't dead yet. One that offers a jacket, or a dollar, or his own time. One that stands upon his faith, unwavering. One that is ignorant of all the afflictions thrown at him because of his focused and devoted attention to the Cross, which erases all suffering and pain and hardship. One that wears his faith on the outside, in the light, for all to see. One that is humble, and when he receives praise, he points to the One Who made it all possible.

And as I pray all of this - because I truly do desire a lifestyle that resembles Jesus's - I also recognize that change doesn't happen overnight. I won't just "become" the man I want to be. God will present me with obstacles that challenge me - for by the fire we are tested - and I need to be faithful enough to push through them. Wise enough to recognize that it is not my own strength that I can overcome, but through the blood of the Lamb. And when Christ's blood is applied, I am more than a conqueror.

The challenges scare me. I don't want to face adversity. I don't want to face things that will grow me, because I know that many times, I will fail. I have so much difficulty accepting grace for myself when I expect perfection. God delights in me, and yet I can never seem to accept that fact. I only see my weaknesses, not Christ's successes.

And as I sit here, looking upon a beautiful lake in the middle of the mountains, I see the world turn slowly around me in a wonderful dance that proclaims my God's glory. My striving, my cares, my angst... they all disrupt a harmony that I could be a part of. If I would let go, and surrender, and let God take over, I too would enter the ballet that spins on before us. Sometimes, we're too consumed by our own doings to recognize how simple faith is.

Take the sparrow. Jesus often points to the bird as a symbol of faith, and I can see why. I see birds flit from branch to branch, talking, singing, and making the scenery more beautiful. Everything they do is beauty. They scream their Maker's beauty in the softest whisper, and it's only when you slow down, and kill the noise around you, that you can appreciate such a beautiful creature.

A bird doesn't worry about tomorrow. About tests, assignments, and projects. It doesn't follow social media. It doesn't get wrapped up in the chaos far from it's nest. It does what it can in it's sphere of influence. Sometimes, I wonder if all our angst and worry is caused by trying to do too much. Even God, omnipotent God, took a day of rest after Creation. He didn't need the rest, of course, but maybe He was modeling a lifestyle we should follow.

Doing what we can, with what God gave us, in our sphere of influence. Not trying to be a super-Christian, that tries to do it all but only adequately, but trying to be an image of Jesus, that does what it can wonderfully. Here in America, we understand specialization of labor. What if that applied to our faith? What if those who have a gift of encouragement developed their gift to be superb, and not pursue a different spiritual gift? Shouldn't a hand do things that a hand does, and not strive to be a foot or nose?

God has placed us all here for a reason, and maybe, we should just do what He has us here for. Instead of trying to impress God, which won't work - He's seen it all - what if we just did what He asked of us? And did it very, very well? And then, with the rest of our time, we can spend it like the sparrows do: singing and worshipping and living in harmony with all else. 

Sometimes, we can over complicate things. And to #LiveItLikeJesus, all you gotta do is listen to what God would have you do, then put your best effort forth and leave the rest to Him. Because His goodness is SO good that it can even create good from our mistakes. And that's comforting to know!