Hey guys. Here's my thoughts penned out, pure and simple. I sent this to my prayer partners, and frankly, I would love to have yall lift me up as well. If you've got time, please read my thoughts and prayer requests and I search for Jesus.
"Hey reader, I just wanted to ask for your continued prayer. I don't feel much better sick-wise, and I'm hoping to stay home tomorrow so I can rest up and finish homework for the classes I missed on Thursday and Friday. I don't know if I will feel well enough to go to school tomorrow, but frankly, I hope I don't. I just feel overwhelmed with work.
I guess thats another thing to pray for. I so often lose track of Jesus as I try and keep up with my responsibilities. I want Him first in everything I do. Devos take precedence over schoolwork. Prayer over projects. That kind of thing.
I feel stuck. I'm doing all I can to come back to Jesus, but I've been struggling with this apathy. A crippling lack of love for my SAVIOR. It hurts, and I feel like I'm drowning. Its like I've forgotten how to love. I listened to "Just Be Held" by Casting Crowns, and it talks about how we just need to stop holding on and just be held. I knew God was trying to speak to me through this song, but I don't know how. What am I holding on to? I thought I had surrendered all to Him! I've been putting Him first in my life no matter what the situation. I just don't get it.
Maybe I'm trying to do it all in my own strength. But if I let go, and stop seeking Him, where am I left? Won't sin become a major problem in my life again? If I stop holding on, and let go of my strength, then I feel like God will stop holding onto me and I'll fall into the same habits over again. Draw close to Him and He'll draw close to you. Thats in the Bible somewhere.
I don't know. I'm sorry to rant like this, but I just need to get it all out. Prayer for healing - both of body and soul - would be much appreciated. I hope you enjoyed your Sunday. Have an awesome evening:)"
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