October 5, 2014

I'ma take a different spin on tonights post and talk about something I think about. A LOT. Probably more than I should: Christian dating.

For any young people out there, reading different posts, I want you to read this. Because I am young also. And I know FOR SURE that the wisened adults also reading this would be more than happy to offer their input, and grow us!! Thats what the Body of Christ is all about, after all!

First of all, I want to note something: dating today is not what it is supposed to be. If a guy and gal are alone together in a public place, its a date. If a guy buys a gal lunch somewhere, the gal (generally speaking) will assume that the guy wants to be with her. Can't a guy just buy someone's lunch? But this is beside the point. I believe a gal and guy can hang out (go bowling, drink coffee, etc) together and NOT have a dating enviornment about it. Just two precautions I ask of you: 1) Do you consider this a date? and 2) does the other person consider this a date? If the answer is yes to either of those, and you aren't commited to each other, I would ask you to make different plans. Dating should be reserved for MARRIAGE alone. It is fine to break up before marriage, but please date as if marriage were the end goal.

Alright, so what does it look like to date, Christian like, in today's society?

1) Know your limits. Everyone was raised differently. You guys can both know Jesus, or both of you might not. Just know where you stand in your faith, know where they stand in their faith, and PRAY. God will show you whats up. And voice your limits. If you struggle with lust (we all do), perhaps say that you both will limit physical contact to hugging. By setting limits before starting a relationship, there won't be guessing or assuming another's motives, which causes discord.

2) Know your God. You NEED to have a strong faith before starting down this path. If you love Jesus more than your date; if you would sacrifice time with your date because you need more Jesus time, I consider that a good sign you are relationship-ready. But this does NOT mean you HAVE to get into a relationship just yet;) Know what God says about dating, read your Bible, see what He asks of husbands and wives... I'm not going to tell you so that you grow yourself, and delve into His word. This should be you and Jesus time, not me telling you how to live.

3) Know your date. TALK about what gets on your nerves, what you need them to provide you with, your love language, how you'll feel in certain situations, etc. Its awkward but I PROMISE it will help later on!! Know where they stand in their faith. Don't unequally yoke yourself. If the relationship is more like iron-sharpens-rock than iron-sharpens-iron, you need to pray and consider backing out. Once you are married however, you should stay in that relationship. 

4) Surrender it to God... TOGETHER. Spend some time praying and reading the Bible! Guys, we are supposed to be spiritual leaders in a relationship, and ladies, yall are called to be encouragers and helpers. This does not mean there are certain situations when the roles are swapped, but as a general rule, I'd say God knows best;) Praying, fellowshipping, growing closer to God hand in hand will indirectly grow yall towards each other! Don't be afraid to ask them to pray for you when you are struggling, THEY ARE THERE FOR YOU!! They will point you to Jesus!

5) Enjoy God's blessing! Frankly, I dream about being in a relationship every day and I think marriage is such a beautiful thing, and I can't wait until its my turn. I would be blessed for any young lady to choose me, its humbling. But until I realize that God chose me first and thats MORE humbling, I better stay away from the dating scene! Just enjoy life while ya have it now, you've got plenty of time before ya need to settle down... God blesses those both in and out of relationships, because we have relationship with HIM! And thats all that matters anyways!

Make sure to #LiveItLikeJesus yall!