God's awesome! Many of you have probably heard about my recent struggle with apathy. It served a good purpose, I definitely learned something new about me that I need to fix.
When I reached out to you guys for prayer and advice, I relied TOO heavily on what yall said. While everything you guys said was true and beneficial to me, I used yall's insight as fuel for MY personal relationship with Jesus. Instead, I should have applied what you guys said INTO my relationship with Jesus!
So today Jesus revealed to me that I was relying too heavily on others, and I need to rely on HIM for my relationship! It was told to me before, many many times, but I didn't understand it, until I wrote this this morning:
"My relationship with Jesus isn't dependent on me. It's dependent on Jesus and Him alone. Because of this, and because He has faithfully upheld His part (which is all of it), my relationship with Jesus is PERFECT. Right now, when I'm at my worst, my relationship with Jesus is beautiful. It's wonderful. I cannot understand it, but I am infinitely loved by a God who does not know what it is to NOT love me. He always has, always is, and always will be loving me. And that's unconditional. I can neither make it go away or grow, because I am not bonded to it as in a covenant. Jesus has chosen to love me unconditionally, and He will continue to do so forever. Nothing I can do can change his opinion of me.
"How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping Your word. I have sought you with all my heart, don't let me wander from Your commands. I have treasured Your word in my heart so that I may not sin against You. Lord, may You be praised; teach me Your statutes."
He renews and restores, He serves and leads. He makes new and takes away the old. Protector, provider, friend. That is my Jesus. I serve the God that created EVERYTHING, from stars to planets to kingdoms to continents to water to plants to cells to mitochondria to DNA to amino acids to base pairs. Everything. Working in perfect order, following established laws, serving and worshipping the God that I serve. The rocks cry out His majesty, the oceans roar at the sound of His name. And His son, Jesus, can cause these rocks to crumble or the oceans to be silent with one word. Ultimate authority over everything. Not one piece is out of place. No matter how bad a situation SEEMS, it always works out for the good of those that serve Him. He controls all.
He also sees all. Omniscience is a powerful ability that MY God has. He knows everything, and with this knowledge, can act in infinite wisdom concerning matters both important and mundane. He cares for us so acutely that He WANTS to know whats going on in our lives. He invests part of His inexhaustible energy into looking at US, planning our paths and removing obstacles so ultimately we will grow towards Him in a predetermined way. He is the ultimate tactician, placing us exactly where we need to be to either benefit, give to, or avoid others or troubles. Everything literally locks into place, and if God had been mistaken (which He NEVER is) it would all fall apart in shambles. He has mastered balancing time.
Organization aids are not needed for Him. He knows EVERYTHING about everything, the where/when/why/who/what/how of every event that potentially impacts our lives. Planners and agendas are petty when compared to His extensive knowledge of all that goes on. From directing stars' paths to killing cancerous cells through apoptosis, He does it all RIGHT on time. Not being bounded by time probably helps a little with that."
Just wanted to let yall know I was bouncing around on my lawn mower this afternoon belching out praises to my God!
Remember to #LiveItLikeJesus, and let HIM carry YOU.
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