Self-Compassion Matters

Self-compassion can be really, really hard to grasp sometimes.

Sometimes having an incredible amount of faith isn't moving mountains, but allowing the light into the dark areas of your life. It takes so much faith to tell the Lord the things that make you feel ashamed, lonely, condemned, and broken and yet trust Him to not leave.

And yet, self-compassion is allowing yourself to feel those very things. To be vulnerable with your emotions. Faith is trusting the Lord to stay by your side, no matter how worthless or inadequate you feel.

Easier said than done. The burden of shame can be a mountain of its own.

The lyrics of the song "You're Gonna Be Okay," by Brian and Jenn Johnson are very helpful to me:

"Hold on, don't let go.
Just take one step closer,
put one foot in front of the other.
You'll get through this;
just follow the light in the darkness.
You're gonna be okay."

When I'm facing a storm of shame, and it's hard for me to have faith, it is so comforting to know that I don't need to cover all of the ground at once. I don't need to magically have the answers or feel better. I can take my time. I can heal. I'm allowed to take one step at a time.

Giving yourself the permission to be imperfect is the first step to healing. It's okay to take a long time, as long as you are making progress. Be patient with yourself. Some things take a long time.

Have a friend who has earned your trust walk with you. Having someone who is there to help you slay the dragons is incredibly comforting and encouraging. Have them remind you of who you truly are.

Do as much as you can. Sometimes it's hard to read my Bible because I'm afraid, and so I'll just pray instead. The Lord knows your ability and sees your effort. He is glad for that.

God sees and hears you – He doesn't mind it if you question Him. When you express your doubts, He not only has compassion and grace for you, but is thrilled to hear your voice. You are precious to Him.

"You are always enough."
"You are always worthy."
"You are always loved."

These are three truths we should not forget.
These are three truths we should be speaking to others.
These are three truths we often need spoken to ourselves.

Self-compassion is birthed out of a sense that we are worthy of love. When we believe in our own inherent, God-given value, we open the doors for healing. We can begin to speak and believe the three truths about ourselves.

"I am always enough, so I can stop trying to be more."
"I am always worthy, so I can stop trying to increase my value."
"I am always loved, so I can stop performing for affection."

We are the same, you and I. We share a common humanity. So let me leave you with the most encouraging words my mentor has ever told me: "You are exactly where you need to be right now."