God's Incredible Faithfulness

I sit here and write this to you, utterly exhausted. Its still early in the evening, and my body cries out for rest.

Sometimes I get like this. We think it may be Lyme Disease. But no matter how I feel, my God does not fail. He makes me smile just by thought of Him. His presence overwhelming, His touch soothing, and His embrace comforting. He is promised to me: I am the Bride of Christ, and I cannot wait until Wedding Day! The day when Jesus and I are pledged to each other; in fact, not just I, but the CHURCH is wed to Jesus! How fantastic to think; how wonderful to imagine! We will be an intimate part of Jesus, the two becoming one! We will be His inheritance, and He, our prize! He is what we run for!

I long for Him now. My mind fails, and my fingers miss their mark. I ponder every word in a careful consideration of how it may portray my Savior. My Jesus has done so much for me; and I will honor Him in my writing! I write this for Him tonight, even though my strength fails, for He is my strength and He will sustain me. I need no nourishment but that which comes from His word. Right now, all else is naught. Making Him smile is the goal tonight; I will rejoice and boast in my Savior even when its hard! I say this to keep myself pressing on; already tonight I have started then erased a few different pieces out of frustration. I will finish this time.

Ya know, Jesus is a really cool guy!! Recently, I have lacked topics to discuss and talk about with you guys, and yet, I can talk ENDLESSLY about my Savior. His infinite nature provokes infinite consideration. Thats what tonight will be. A window into my heart, but mostly, I hope, it'll be about Jesus. What can I say? How can I explain? His love is ENDLESS. Dwell on that believer! It does not diminish in time, for it has an everlasting source! It does not even grow, for it has ALWAYS been at its fullest potential! What an amazing insight! God's love cannot grow for it is already the greatest He can give! Jesus really does hold NOTHING back from us; all that He has, we have, because He is in us! We just need to ask.

That's another thing: our God considers our requests! How wonderful! An omnipotent being who sees our hearts, and offers us relief from the monotony and weight of our dreary world! We can ask Him anything, and He will answer. We can burden Him with anything, for He already bore that weight on the cross. Our hopes, desires, and burdens all can rest on His shoulders, and He would happily carry them, if only you would entrust them to Him! Your burden can be relieved for Jesus has already overcome your burdens... if you would surrender!

Surrender. What a humbling experience. To be brought so low by circumstance and bad decisions that you must rely on another. Be glad our God does not humiliate, but rather recreates! He does not ruin and raze, but brings healing and grace! Our God is not only loving and just, but He offers GRACE. Humbled at His feet, we submit our lives to Him, and He carries us to the secret places. He whispers promises of His love to us, and lavishes love upon us in the hiding places. He sends us out again, knowing we will fail Him, just so He can bring glory to His name and spend more intimate time with us. What a loving God!

Love. It manifests itself in beauty. A man who loves and cherishes his wife finds her the most beautiful. One who loves nature and its divinty finds it all the more beautiful than the casual observer. Beauty: a measure of the value placed on someone or something. Value is found in the heart; the heart of worship has true value, the heart of men has true value; the heart, the core, the center of all things is GOD. He made all things in His image, to reflect Him, and yet as sinful humans we have been blinded to such things and even twist His beauty into malice and hate.

Thats what scares me. My potential. I am TERRIFIED of how I might treat another, so I guard myself against it. I'm glad God has not called me to love and cherish a young lady yet, because if He did, I'm not sure I could follow through. Like I said, I am terrified of my own potential for sin. In my personal life, its easier, because I know it impacts me and Jesus alone. In a relationship, I have potential to hurt me, Jesus, and the other. I could permanently damage a young lady's heart! How could I live with myself after shattering the most beautiful thing God has created?

Many of my friends assure me I am ready for dating. I'm not. The things that ravage my brain and my past sin haunt me. I'm forgiven, and God has removed the guilt and shame of such things, and yet, I know what potential lies behind the heart that I own. It scares me. So until I can control myself so strictly that God approves of me holding another's hand, I will follow Him soley! For He is my Jesus, and I, His son.

I'm still crazy tired. That won't change for a while. But you know? This entire day I have had to rely on God's strength. Prayer kept me fueled; He provided JUST enough energy to make it through my day! He is FAITHFUL! And this constant leaning on Him causes me to think: these days may not be great, but they are the best. I may not like it, but I draw nearest to Christ when I am down and out. My successes inflate my pride, but my need grows humility. And for that, I am thankful. May He be praised forever and ever!