Wrote this for a candle lighting going on for Lyme Disease (something I have), but it can be related to anyone's struggle with life, and provides insight into my own! Hope yall find encouragement in it:) And my friend's names were omitted to protect confidentiality!
Hey yall, I do not have a candle lit, but I do try and live my life as a candle, similar to the great blazing flame that is my Savior. And we don't light these candles because of conformity, but because we know what its like to be alone. We light them FOR YOU, so YOU will know you AREN'T alone. And if you take time to read this lengthy post, I pray you find some encouragement in my words.
I have Lyme. Writing has become almost an escape for me. I don't write creatively, and I don't make up stories. I speak truth. Truth that hurts. Truth that uplifts. Jesus's truth. So maybe you'll see some truth, in addition to encouragement, in my words.
Lyme has never been a huge issue for me. I have leg and back pain almost everyday, but that doesn't hold me back. I have extreme fatigue, but it doesn't keep me down. My God is bigger than pain. The only way I have been seriously worried is when I have been temporarily paralyzed (its happened twice; my spine shifts and until it pops back into place, I can't move). But you see (and I'm gonna brag on my friends here), ------, ------, --------- all have AMAZING stories for you. Perhaps they'll share; I know for sure that they will encourage you more than I ever could!
All three of these young ladies have faced a pretty serious case of Lyme. And they have ALL been healed! Miraculously! Another name for my God, in the Hebrew, is Jehovah-Rapha. That means the God who heals. And not just Lyme, they have battled through many personal battles of their own. And yet they retain their faith!! They trusted a God who allowed a pain in their life, even when it looked hopeless. And now they strive to give others hope! They don't know this, but whenever I see them, even if I don't say hello, my heart grins - no, it SINGS - because MY JESUS DID THAT!! Wheelchairs cannot hold them!! Fatigue cannot hold them!! Pain cannot hold them!! My God is FAITHFUL.
I sometimes feel guilty for having a form of Lyme that is less aggressive. Many people suffer so much, and here am I. I live in a filthy rich county, surrounded by doctors who know Lyme exists and how to treat it; I am not disabled or hampered in my attempts to live life. I do not know what it is to suffer like some of you do.
There is one matter, however, that I do acknowledge. And that is loneliness. Chronic illnesses isolate you from society, and it can be hard to become "normal" again. And I found Jesus because of loneliness! I've had few truly close, best friends (3), and they moved or can't talk often or can't hang out... I've been alone all my life. In school, I distance myself from my peers (I am friendly, and have friends, but they often don't have my confidence) because of my faith.
I am called to a higher moral standard than the rest of this world. I live for Jesus, and not myself. And to be honest, I don't say that to be "holier than thou"... its very very humbling to be a servant of the King. And while I love Jesus tons, it is SO DIFFICULT to form lasting relationships with others!! I do my absolute best to pour into others, but so few pour into me. And I am alone. Or so I think! See, I was suicidal about my loneliness for a while. But before I got to even attempt at my life, thank goodness Jesus found me!! Showed me the truth. And now here I am, failing hopelessly at trying to speak life into yall. There is so much I wanna say! So much I wanna show yall! And my words come out jumbled.
Guys, you ROCK. Keep fighting Lyme. I'm right here fighting with you. Don't you EVER, EVER give up because once you admit defeat, you are defeated. You know, make a covenant with yourself to not even CONSIDER defeat. Cause you'll win. For sure! You know why? Pain can NEVER last forever. Ever. It cannot. Think about it: there is nothing that you have felt you feel now or that you won't STOP feeling later on. Pain is TEMPORARY!!! Which means victory is INEVITABLE! You have ALREADY won!!! You just gotta push through the pain, having full confidence and faith in the One who is carrying you through! He loves you so so much and would be overjoyed to start a PERSONAL relationship with you, and heal your ailments. Be it physical, emotional, mental, all pain is temporary. And you can overcome!!
The cool thing about pain (I know, crazy right?! Pain being BENEFICIAL?!) is that it produces endurance. You see, I suffer little, so I am not as big an encouragement or fight as much for Lyme as my friends, mentioned above. They endured a LOT, so they care a LOT. And because of this trial you face now, you can face anything coming at you later! You know, Lyme may be all you can think about... how it hurts you, how you need healing, how you can fight it, new methods for helping your war. DO NOT DO THIS. That is WORSHIP. If you dwell on your pain, your pain becomes your GOD! Your pain will CONTROL you!! NO!!! I refuse! Do NOT let your pain control you!
Thing is, and this is the point of it all, Lyme disease is yet another chain that binds us to the floor of our prison cell. That, along with other areas of our individual lives, fight for our attention and worship. We are consumed with things that are passing. Lyme is temporary. Pain is temporary. Wealth, power, sex? All passing. So why do we look to them? Why do we worship them? YOU ARE BOUND. But, no matter how hard you try (and I know this personally), you cannot shake those chains free. I HATE this. I cried and shouted and yanked and pulled and I could NEVER escape these chains that bind me. I sawed, I chopped, I melted, I tried it all. NOTHING breaks them. I worship my chains by giving them all my attention.
But you know? Those chains are bound to the FLOOR. Look up! Your hands AREN'T BOUND! You have admitted defeat, and so you conjured up this image of your own demise!! THOSE CHAINS LIE ON THE FLOOR, USELESS!! Your Savior, who broke those chains, looks you in the face and yet YOU WORSHIP YOUR CHAINS! If you devoted your attention and worship to HIM, and not your chains, He'd show you HIS scars from YOUR chains. He TOOK your chains, died in your chains, came back from your chains. Because He loved you, loves you, always will love you. But you don't see Him... you are stuck looking at the floor of your cell, staring, screaming, crying at those chains that bound you to the floor.
Look up. Your wrists are free. Its all a conjouring of your mind. STOP fighting, because you fight against NOTHING. Its all temporary!!
Lyme disease may still afflict you. But Lyme disease will no longer have power OVER you. You will free of its control! Keep the good fight, but stop battling Lyme. Let Jesus take over. He'll fight, and WIN, for you. Just ask -----, -----, and -------.They'll show you whats up.
Hey guys, this post was filled with religion. But I don't do religion; I do relationships. I talk to my Jesus, and He talks to me. I worship my Jesus, and He delights in me. I fail my Jesus, and He shows me grace and mercy. Get to know Him, I know you two will hit it off:)
Prayin for everyone with Lyme out there. Even if you WANT disregard what I've said because you don't want to believe a "lie", that is, that God exists and He sent His son and His son died and then rose again for YOU personally, think twice before doing so. For I speak truth. Truth that hurts. Truth that uplifts. Jesus's truth.
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